I found out today that I did not get the job at CCHMC. It’s okay… I think I had already made peace with it, no matter the outcome. And I have a Plan B, which I have begun brainstorming. I’ll blog more about this later. But for now I guess I just need a funny. About three years ago I moved into my latest slum shack apartment and at about the same time started a new checking account after being convinced that the corporate five headed monster bank I was using were Nazis not very nice. (In my defense, the bank’s logo is red and black.) After creating my new account, I was caught a little off guard when my account rep asked me out to dinner. My only excuse was that I was in a public place and was too stupid dumbfounded to say no. (Well dressed, but not so cute, not even in a Monet sort of way.) He called a few days later and I tried to cancel, but he didn’t take the hint and just rescheduled. So a week later, we were off to PF Changs. I love their food and decided I could tolerate a couple of hours with an ugly boy in exchange for a free dinner. In the midst of our appetizer I could tell that something had caught his eye. A few minutes later, he excused himself and went to say hello to another table… rude. He came back and picked up our conversation where we’d left off… mildly impressive. And then just a few syllables later, a young woman appears at our table, impolitely introduces herself and tells me in her most catty tone that it’s very nice to meet me. Ouch, you don’t have to bite. I tell her in my most sunshiney voice that it is nice to meet her too. His ugliness, looking a bit like a kicked puppy, excuses himself again and walks her outside. I would guess that he was out there for a good 20 minutes. My waiter (who was cute!) brought the meal and checked on me a second time. Not one to spoil a good meal on someone else’s drama, I happily dined alone and invited him (the waiter) to join me. My “date” eventually did come back and when I asked if everything was alright, simply responded yes. No other explanation was offered. Check please… Taxi!
Dating is for fools! January 30, 2008
Hello… Is this neurotic chocoholics anonymous? My cable is out again. January 29, 2008
I’ve been tagged by Allison to reveal some of my neuroses quirks… I couldn’t spoil the fun, but then I had a difficult time picking just six of them. So many weird things eccentricities to choose from. Hopefully I chose some entertaining ones. Enjoy!
The rules are:
* link to the person who tagged you
* post the rules on your blog
* share six non-important things/ habits/ quirks about yourself
* tag at least 3 people at the end of the post and link to their blogs
* let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog
1. I eat chocolate cold. If I buy a chocolate bar or kisses, I immediately put them in the refrigerator when I get home. I’m not sure when I began doing this or why. I just dig the way it tastes. I also eat all Hershey bars one square at a time. On the slim chance that I’m eating Lucky Charms, I’ll eat all of the marshmallows last and I’ll eat them one color at a time. When I was a kid, I ate one item on my plate at a time and I would always eat the meat last. Apparently, I was neurotic from birth.
2. I haven’t had cable in 5 years. And I only miss it occasionally. Usually in the winter on Sunday afternoons when every channel is playing the same infomercials over and over. Thanks, but I’m not interested in the Jack Lalane juicer (that weird jumpsuit he wears kind of freaks me out) or Tony Little’s Gazelle (Tony, please stop yelling… and oh yeah, the 80’s called and they want their permed mullett back).
3. Pens without caps drive me crazy. I especially hate it when someone uses my pen and then leaves it on my desk open. It has a cap, put it back on. You got it out of my pen cup, make it find it’s way back there. Leaving an open pen on top of the post-it note, doesn’t make me respond to your request more quickly.
4. For my 30th birthday, I got a tattoo. I promise it’s not a “tramp stamp.” It’s a red lotus, which means purity of heart, and it’s on my right hip. If you asked me on my 20th birthday if I’d ever have a tattoo, I would’ve said “No way, Jose.” Proof how much people can change in 10 years time. Most people, even close friends were really surprised. I love it… the tattoo and the fact that I can still surprise people from time to time.
5. When I shop for books I usually buy 2 or 3 at a time and then try to read all of them at once. I know, how very ADD of me. (Just think of kids at Christmas who try to play with all of their new toys at once.) After a week or so… I get overwhelmed and stop reading all of them. Then about a month later, I start reading them again… one at a time.
6. I frequently drive away from my apartment wondering if I locked my front door. And every once in a while I’ll actually circle the block (I live on a one-way), so that I can be sure that I did. I live in a first floor apartment, so it’s all in the name of security. But here’s the thing… it’s never once been unlocked. As a side note: I’ve been having a recurring dream that I’ve left for work in the morning and my car has been stolen. The first few nights I had this dream, I actually went to my window to make sure it was still there.
I tag:
I heart the laundramat January 24, 2008
I do not enjoy the laundramat. Not one bit actually. But it’s a better alternative than going downstairs to my building’s creepy basement where I find an equally scary washer and dryer that has been known to eat my clothing, and where finding a working light bulb can many times be a crap shoot. I generally try to do my laundry at least once a week. Seeing as how I am not the Incredible Hulk, I can only muster carrying one basket at a time. And I absolutely loathe the people who bring in trash bag upon trash bag of dirty clothes and take up 6 or 8 washers/dryers. (A: don’t wait until your last pair of underoos to do laundry. And B: trash bags? seriously? buy a laundry basket, they sell them at the dollar store, for the love.) I generally take up 3 washers/dryers per visit. More than 4 is kind of selfish. I have learned to have at least a little appreciation for the laundramat… I grab a book, stop and flirt with my favorite Starbucks barista, then listen to my iPod and have some “Allison time” for an hour and a half while my clothes are spinning. And if nothing else, it can be good people watching. There’s generally at least one freak there. Last night’s gem… I was the “good people watching.” Since I generally patronize the mat about once a week, I just keep my laundry detergent and dryer sheets in my trunk. Great idea when it’s not cold like Antarctica outside. Since the past several days have brought tundra-like temperatures to my town… not so much! My bottle of All Free Clear seemed a little heavier than usual, but I didn’t think much of it since I was delicately balancing a purse, laundry basket, and aforementioned bottle of All in my short little arms. I meticulously separated my darks, lights, and whites and fed the hungry machine it’s snack of quarters. Opened my bottle of All and started pouring detergent in the machines. Hmm… nothing came out. Interesting. I shake the bottle. Nothing. I look inside the bottle. There was liquid goo in there. What the heck? Oh… oops. Can you say frozen boys and girls? I knew you could. Yup. I’m a smart one.
Don’t listen to “them.” January 21, 2008
They say “Time heals all wounds.” But how much time? This wound has been an open sore for quite some time now, it seems. And it hasn’t gotten any easier. If I was a wiser person, I would have most likely given up by now. But perhaps I am a glutton for punishment. For the past few months, I’ve had that thing called hope. But some days I wonder if hope is just a pipe dream. I wish I could move along. But I can’t. I’m not sure why. I’ve tried putting a bandaid on, but it doesn’t stay attached very well. Every time someone mentions the wound, a little piece of the bandaid comes off, and little by little the entire wound is exposed again. I’m highly functional and living life… but the wound is still there. And I think it might always be. I took a great risk and while there was great reward temporarily, there was great heartbreak in the end. Why is it that some can move past the pain and others can not? I’m not sure what will heal this wound, this hurting, this heartbreak. I’m not sure it ever will ever be healed. And I’m definitely not convinced that time is going to much of anything.
The Best Birthday Gift Ever! January 15, 2008
If you are unaware, IKEA is coming to Cincinnati! Whoooootay whoooo!
I have been waiting for it’s grand opening with bated breath since hearing this wonderful news in summer 2006. I love IKEA. In fact most of my furniture is from the Chicago store. I made a grueling 24 hour round-trip there in 2001 and came back with an entire truckload of stuff. In fact I furnished my living room and bedroom (including couch, but sans mattresses and bed frame) for around $2,500. It’s definitely become one of my guilty pleasures. I have to hit IKEA anytime I’m in Chi-town visiting friends or in Phoenix visiting the fam. I’ve even called my stepmom and asked her to pick up items and ship them to me. I’ll admit that it’s not the highest quality around. But when your a single girl, affordable and stylish wins out every time. To have one just minutes from home may be a death wish for my checking account! I’ve been tracking the progress of the big, blue building for months… it’s just a couple of minutes from my dentist’s office. And what’s even more exciting is the announcement that the Cincinnati store is opening on March 12… which just happens to be my birthday!!! I might just have to party in the store. 
Is it Thursday yet? January 14, 2008
My second interview at Cincinnati Children’s Hospital is on Thursday morning. I’m feeling very anxious right now. I almost wish it were Wednesday evening instead of Monday afternoon. I’m trying to prepare as much as I can, but I get really nervous during interviews. Which is funny… because I’ve done a lot of phone recruiting as well as some face to face interviews. As much as I know about the process, it still scares me to death. But I know that all I can do is prepare myself and go in with confidence. The rest I can’t control. And if they don’t choose me, then it just means there is something better out there waiting on me. Wish me luck! 
when did cough syrup become a controlled substance? January 5, 2008
- Being sick is lame. I am not a fan. Luckily, I’m reasonably healthy. I take vitamins, wash my hands frequently, and eat somewhat healthy. But it seems at least once a year I get “the funk.” I’ve been getting “the funk” for as long as I can remember. It’s a miserable combination of a cold, ear infection, and tonsilitis. Yes, I still have my tonsils… Why, do you ask? Because when I was 18 years old an ENT gave me a choice of having them removed. Given the choice to go under the knife (scary!) , I chose not. Thus, I will be 32 years old in March and I continue to get ear and tonsil infections yearly.
- Insurance is bothersome. And that’s from the mouth of a benefits administrator. I changed health insurance options within our plan for 2008. I went to the pharmacy last night and they were unable to process my claim. I decided to call our account manager this morning in lieu of customer service. She told me should would look into it for me. I’m still waiting to hear from her. They have no idea what the problem is.
- I paid $45 for a generic drug to take care of “the funk.” I thought generics were supposed to be inexpensive. Okay, so $45 isn’t going to break the bank, but it seems like a lot for 6 little pills (azithromycin).
- I also purchased children’s cough medicine (they didn’t have what I was looking for in the adult section – and I would bet that there are actual children larger than me who use the product). I had to laugh aloud when I was asked for my date of birth to purchase it. Apparently dextromethorphan is a hallucinogenic. Of course, that’s only with large doses. But still… it’s a kid’s cough medicine. Maybe I’ll hallucinate that I’m feeling better.
- This reminds me of when I was a child… If I by chance caught whatever funky junk was floating around the elementary school that particular week, my pediatrician would prescribe this awful red liquid that contained codeine. Codeine = controlled substance. Nice.
my new year January 3, 2008
I have to be honest; I’m not a big fan of “New Years.” I generally find the whole concept to be a little silly. I mean, we’re just putting up a new calendar, right? Does anyone actually keep their list of resolutions?
I’ve been on a bit of a rollercoaster the last year or so, especially the last couple of months. And I’ve been doing a lot of thinking… thinking about who I am, what my goals are, how I can improve and grow, what lessons I’ve been learning.
Here’s what I’ve come up with…
I have amazing friends. I have this inner circle of people in my life that are just wonderful people. The circle changes from time to time, but I know that the people in it really have my best interests at heart. What also brings me joy, are the people who I might not talk to every day, but who really step up for me when I’m going through a difficult time.
My family loves me. They may not always be there for me in the way that I need them. They may hurt my feelings, drive me crazy, and act like jerks sometimes. But I know that underneath it all, they really do love me. And that’s the important thing.
That being said… I need to start creating boundaries. I can’t control others, but sometimes I let them control me. I let other people influence my decisions and my actions. This isn’t always a bad thing. Many times people give me great advice. However, I tend to get caught up in the negative sometimes. I let people upset me, who are not important and who don’t have my best interests at heart. I need to have the clarity to see who is appropriate to let in, and who I need to just leave on the fringes of my life.
I need to stop “sweating the small stuff.” Sometimes I don’t even realize that I do it. I definitely don’t mean to. I think it’s a product of me being stressed about other things and not dealing with them properly. So instead of focusing on little things that don’t matter, I need to figure out what I’m really upset about and focus on fixing that instead.
I need to stop being passive-aggressive. I want to make some changes in my life. I’m scared to make them and I get overwhelmed easily. If something is too hard, I either ignore it or run for my life in the opposite direction. So I get nothing done, whatever the situation is, it’s still there and it’s staring me in the face. Then I get stressed about it and I start “sweating the small stuff” because I’m too afraid to deal with the big stuff.
I need to enjoy the moment, instead of worrying about the future. The future is going to come, whether I worry about it or not. I only have so much control and the rest I can’t do anything about. So why not put my fear and anxieties aside, and enjoy what’s happening in the present…
These things are easier said than done. I’ve experienced a lot in almost 32 years. Not all of it has been positive. I’ve been deeply hurt by people I trusted. And that makes it hard to change, hard to grow, hard to let go of the defense mechanisms and the strongholds that I’ve clung to for so long. But I know that it’s time to make some changes around here.
Clarity and courage… those are my resolutions for 2008… so bring it on.
